I admit, there are probably some things that I should have pushed a little more at this point (like sleeping in her crib) but my child is happy and that's what's important, right? So what if I subscribe to the gypsy style of parenting (I'm not that bad, really), I love my baby and she knows it and I think that's really what matters. Basically since the day I found out I was expecting everything has been about her. That's the way I think it should be. Obviously not at the expense of me or my relationship with my Husband but really you can't help but make everything about her.
Now that I am back at work and have some time to think I have vowed to start taking better care of myself. For me but also for Miss Stevie too because she needs a momma who is healthy and happy with who she is. One of the first steps to this is recognising that I am a good mom. One of the things I noticed about having kids is that there instantly are a million judgements about how things should be done. How you feed them, how you put them to sleep, what they wear, play with, etc. It can be exhausting and also a little challenging. It creates a bit of a paranoia that you will never be good enough at it and that something will always go wrong. Some of that is self inflicted though. I mean someone may make a comment to you that is totally innocent but then you internalise that to the point where you feel like you were being judged when really that was not the intent. I for sure have done this and it has made me question myself. But you know what? I'm a great mom to Stevie and so now I am making a promise not to second guess myself. Yes, something's might not work for others, and yes, I could for sure do things differently but we've got to do what works right?
In life things are always changing so I look at this parenting process as an on-going learning opportunity that presents many challenges and a whole lot more victories. And if in the very least, I love her with all my heart things should work out. And if they don't I'll just blame it on her Dad!